I continue to be touched by so many different things across the people we know…and in that very special circle is Bob…please join in in support of his run for Breast Cancer :) 

http://dallas.info-komen.org/site/TR?px=9070310&fr_id=2145&pg=personal

That’s not good…and for someone that’s so organized, control freak, type-A , ENTJ and detail oriented — i’m shocked I never recorded the login details…which showed me how much I never thought I’d forget the access to CancerByTheDay.com — but I guess things happen and life goes on.

And that’s so the case…life has gone on.  I’ve been so very well -  happy wise and health wealth wise.  

Health wealth?

That was a new phrase that someone gave me this week…and I really liked it.  I’ve never been more energized by the balance in my life…a new found beautiful thing that’s really comes naturally now.   With the girls all morning…and then on to a  work load that is in synch with what matters most — MY LIFE..and those I love. 

I’ll always be a worker..no doubt.

But now, it’s all  just so much more clear in terms of where work without the pay check but all enjoyment matters — being a mom and wife first…and surprisingly, that’s left the precise amount of time for the supply and demand to kick in as an executive consultant. 

Not that I would wish the last year and a half on anyone, but I don’t have regrets because of all it brought to me …and all that it also took away in a great way that I’ve been lucky to see :)   Newly found Chucky Cheese family time included…

I never, in my most broad scope of thinking, thought this story would go beyond me. 

At this point, just one year out from my radical double mastectomy, I figured it would be posts and updates from ME having finished my chemo and radiation therapy. 

Did I ever think I’d be spared?  No.

Did I think I’d be sharing someone else’s story? No. (nonetheless my sisters!)

I know now that I am in the rare subset where the cancer, as aggressive as mine was considered, didn’t spread further.  It took over half my left breast but it sat still and I guess didn’t choose to meet my lymph node system. 

As you know if you’ve been following, my sister was not so lucky.  Her mammogram picked up a mass, not my invasive DCIS type of cancer, and given it’s location close to the armpit, it had spread. 

The good news – body scans came back clear, so again – early detection  is key.  Please, I don’t nag (ok, other than my husband) but please don’t wait or delay tests.

It’s strange to say, but obviously things picked up early are greatly beneficial to your health.  And me and my sister had a wonderful sisterhood before this hit, but we are never closer…and this will always be a glue stronger than anything you can imagine.

OK, now I realize the post title I started with didn’t get covered — but that’s OK. 

I’m scattered more these days and care less about being perfectly in control…so, when I thought of this post it was me thinking of the ironic nature that at the last chemo treatment, Anna lost most of her eyelashes…that’s a tough one.  Being bald, not easy, but eyelashes, it’s the beauty in your eyes that you find when you lose you hair…and the lost of eyelashes – a tough one, at this stage. 

But, with two weeks past from the last chemo treatment, hair starts growing back.  So as you lose eyelashes, you gain your hair growth.  Gosh, I have to be honest, that’s not a fair balance.  But again, not much of this process is. BUT, we are positive and smiling.

We are thrilled that the 8th and final chemo treatment is Monday and at the same time, we know that the end is not there.  But rather, the following two weeks where the chemicals do their work…where days of aches, pains and fatigue kick in. 

Each round has been a bit worse and different than the prior treatments effects. The feelings of a “blanket coming over you” typically hit right after the treatment, but never enough to not stop us from having a nice dinner together post treatment! 

Then a bit of a waiting game…days 2 and 3, usually OK-ish.  Day 4 and 5 strong fatigue, body aches, some nausea…and Day 6 either a real dozie or a sign of the start of the climb to feeling better.  BUT, there are times where a day of illness hits out of the blue, shame you don’t know if it’s just part of normal life!

We are cheering for Monday to close one chapter in what we see as recovery…and then there’s a months rest before the radiation begins. The story continues….

This week in the chemo room I leapt to cover up another with a warm blanket who was shivering … As Anna sat there sweating. The effects are so different person to person…round to round.

We are riding ups with downs and at the same time know another treatment is coming…and with that, a few tough days.

Anna continues to be a champ!….and equally as solid in strength are her four kids and husband. I have to say, I am so proud to be part of this bunch!

One proud Auntie here.

For me, I see a doctor every six months.  Alternating between my breast surgeons and my oncologist.  So this 6 month was with the oncologist…and the once a year massive blood work up.  Literally three pages of counts, percentages and ratings…and I smile as I type, my report was 100% perfect.  Nothing out of range at all. Now that’s a  wonderful feeling! 

(Also need to add that our two little girls also had the all clear with their first round of x-rays at the dentist…Bravo girls!…and I really didn’t need more to hit my plate…thank you dental gods!)

Anyone that knew me or knows me know realized I changed if I said my drive for things changed….and now I want moments with meaning. I did not see the “other side”…. but at the same time it felt like I had. Many people around me did too.

As I reach my one year anniversary, it’s wonderful and bittersweet at the same time…this is the time one year out, where extensive blood tests are run to see if cancer still exists or has returned. You can imagine how this feels and how it will feel each year for the rest of my life.

Enjoy life…..even on the days you think it stinks the most.

At this point a year ago, from February last year onward, I reviewed my medical reports and knew things didn’t look very well. 

At the same time, this is when super powers came out to prepare myself for everything I knew was to come, and everything unknown.  From a massive ear to ear smile —to the unseen downward spiral –this was a crazy month just one year ago. 

It was at this point that I had my final tests and “next week” it was the final news of the “You have cancer” diagnosis.  And between now and then, the absurd injustice of a breach of confidence of my condition.  I’ll never forget that and the detriment it caused…but let’s stay positive.

I remember being so strong as I sat in Feb and early March gaining control — gaining the courage and trying to find the right words to tell everyone.  I learned there are no right words when it comes to this news. 

First sharing it on “IM” to a close friend started the roll…and from there, I remember the rounds of shock.  Imagine calling the people you love and the ones you know care so much about you and share such news.  Where I got my strength?  I can only imagine it came from a divine place from all the prayers that started immediately. 

My first calls were to so many of my Catholic school life long friends since age 5ish – they could handle it and at the same time, help me find the words to tell others.    Other calls spanned some of the toughest business bears I ever knew and worked with, when they stopped in their tracks.  It was crazy.   A crazy Aussie nut friend of ours got emotional, I knew it was real that moment.

Then I started this website to share the story, to help me communicate with so many people.  Here I am at one year, with over 20,000 visitors, I feel blessed, loved and so grateful.

A one year anniversary of sorts coming up —and a start of new chapters unforeseen for my sister and I. 

Life is Nuts.  Life is Tough. A Smile, A Strong Will does wonders. 

I complimented my sister this week on how proud I am — and it brought me to tears, but happy tears, when she replied — “I learned from the best”.  I was speech less. Give purpose to what I went through in a way.

Well, today I studied up on “washing wigs” —and that’s how I’ll help out this week —Think of the things no one else does when it comes to helping out :)

It has been outstanding to see the continued effects that a positive outlook can have on the situation. We leave each treatment and there is never a complaint. A quick, ” there’s that heavy blanket come over me feeling again”…and moments later we are deciding where to have lunch. As for outer appearance…We stopped into the hair salons and the ladies couldn’t believe it was a wig.

Its not an easy time for sure…but at the same time, its been OK. The sisterhood goes even more deep in many ways for me.