Archive for October, 2010

The gap over the last week and more has been the longest stretch between posts since I launched cancerbytheday.com and its a sign of some changes for me I didn’t realize were happening. Some are so part of a natural process of coping, others not so in line.

I wish I could say the changes I noticed this week were for the better, but in a way ….life had gotten back to normal too quickly. Getting back to the old normal should not be a fit for me and is just something I need to be watchful of ….I no longer strive to be the wonder woman I was …but more focused on where life’s returns are ….priceless.

Many of you reading this know my wild drive to juggle more than humanly possible and get a rush from it…and energy from all involved that excites me and intrigues our circles of friends. I overwork everything with enjoyment.

Strangely enough, I’m very simple at the same time where lavish will never be a descriptor….but grand in depth and breath more the case.  From hsoting “over the top” parties for 100s of our close friends…down to the simplicity of  me with saltines with melted american cheese and hot sauce from my college late night hosting still is made … (Don’t worry, just on the menu for me with nostalgia. Never served to others…well, UCONN bunch, maybe)…  Life runs the full scale with us.

We live life big on every account and I don’t want that to change…I just want to love every minute of every day and in return be loved…and realize when I’m not being open to the love around me.

My big point!? Message today? Long winded trimmed down to the “so what”?

I promised myself to never forget what I wrote down as most important when I worked through the prospect of facing death.

So today as I saw a wall hanging, I had to stop and get a couple…”Do what you love.” Was the saying.

That spoke to me on so many levels and touched my heart, mind and soul. Life is a work in progress, a process of evolution and for me, a new discovery process.

So in terms of “Doing what I love”

… It’s focusing on being a wife and mom where love directs the path….and professional drive sits in the passenger seat and me working on getting back full strength and direction to be the driver that knows where she’s going!

Many months ago, a close friend of ours shared his thoughts about “The River”.  He saw life as a continually process of sharing.  If you think of all the materials you use in life, you gained them in some way as if they flowed down the river to you as a gift.  After you have finished your use of a particular item, you have the option to share what you have and pass it down the river to the next person that is in need. 

He illustrated this concept in the reverse, which gave it even greater impact to me. 

The opposite would be “the pond”, where you gain everything in life, used it, kept it, added it to everything else, and just filled your pond and moved it in circles to only yourself.  You’d be in a situation with “tons of stuff”, but trapped at the same time and immobile.  Metaphorically there are so many things that could be said, but I think you get it.  And if you’ve seen the reality series “Hoarding”, you know that is not healthy and completely toxic.

I share this today as I think of all the amazing gifts the river of life has sent my way in the  last six months.  I have the most heart felt tokens that I kept by my bed, prayer cards, scapulars, books with the perfect inspirations, notes that always brought a smile and the list is endless.  I love them.  The impact was and is so very powerful, but it’s time for me to send them down the river.  As much as I feel a connection to you all that provided me with the gifts, I know you will agree that your spirit in the gifts to me can have even greater purpose “down the river”.

This is Cancer By The Day, it doesn’t go away.  It may become less a part of my life in many ways, but it will never not be part of each of my day in some way.   I ask for everyone to take their prayers and pray for others that are going  back into the battle, continuing the fight, starting at the first step and all those that love them.