Archive for July, 2010

I’m going forward and having the existing saline implants removed and then replaced with a silicon set.  It’s strange to even thing of doing such choice shopping, but from what I hear, it’s really a natural next step. And for other mastecomy patients at other practices I’ve spokend to, the plan was always to have the “swap” take place after post surgery healing and skin streatching.

I’m not thrilled to have another procedure to look forward to, but at least after this one, I should be on my way and other than routine doctor appointments, life will be normal again. Well, normal as we want it!

One thing I vowed to myself is that I would wear a bikini as long as I thought I didn’t look absurdly ridiculous.  So far, I’ve still been the bikini wearing 30 something year old.  But, I’ve moved away from the string bikini styles to a bit more “material”. 

Over the past weekend, Bruce and I took the girls swimming at the town pool.  As I went to put my bathing suit on, I couldn’t find matching pieces of either current sets.  I considered being the mom in shorts aside the pool … and then I thought, “The hell with it” as I easily found two pieces of a matching string bikini.  I sucked in the belly and threw it on.

Off I went with ends of the incision scars exposed, drain holes apparent and ya know what?  It was OK.  I am still who I am, proud of it and have nothing to hide…ok, you can suck in a stomach, but I do need to lose a bit of the hips, but I can live with it for now.  Curves, yeah…curves are good!  Thank God we didn’t see anyone we knew.

OK, over three months past my surgery and overall, I’m feeling wonderful.  But there is one slight continued annoyance I thought I’d share for others that are going through recovery.  No real pain or discomfort caused, but just annoying to keep seeing that my incision stitches that were to be dissolving … aren’t.  Bit of a little detail to share, but I’m hearing it’s quite common. 

So for others out there that might have the same issue, yes, those tiny strings popping out of your skin around your incisions, are sutures working their way out of your body.  Some just don’t get it that they should dissolve!  What next? I won’t ask! :)

I had a wonderful dinner with my most adored health care professionals last night.  It felt like a true blessing to sit across a table from such a wonderfully talented and compassionate breast surgeon.  A woman that takes great care in what she does and the person that took such superb care of me. 

As we spoke about my diagnosis, my surgery and my recovery, I couldn’t help but see that all the memories over the last three months seem much more distant in the past.  I can remember there be so much more pain than I expected, so many muscle spasms in my chest, pinching, piercing pains, back issues, curled shoulders, leg cramps…but I can no longer recall what that all “felt” like.   It’s as if it happened to someone else, and not this body that now feels back to 100%.  A good thing and strange at the same time. 

It’s a chapter not to be forgotten and I rejoice in how far I’ve come in what really has been such a short time.  A special thanks from the bottom of my heart to all the doctors, nurses and support people that guided my path and made me who I can today.  I adore you all.

We’ve had a couple busy weeks and over the course of seeing many friends, I’ve heard myself say, “It’s good to be here” in reply to “It’s good to see you”.  Both statement just resonate in such a much deeper and broader sense these days.

People that say they are happy to see me seem to just swell with good wishes and for me, it’s again not a cause that I’d recommend to others.  But for me, I am happy to be here.  I’ve been content by the inventory I did in “general life”.  Happy with all that life has given me and that I’ve worked to achieve.  I’m really in a good place and the more people I see, the more touched I am with the strong support we are lucky to have.

This past weekend we celebrated some great friendships we hold and at the same time, I was so saddened to say good bye to close and dear friends moving overseas.  Saying good bye always makes me sad, it always has.  Even as I typed now, the tears come.   But, I know miles across strong bonds don’t hinder friendships.  Again, I’m so happy to be here and in touch with so many of you through these words.    Strangely, I feel so much closer to everyone and see life just a bit differently.  Life is Good.