Archive for April 25th, 2010

On days when I’m down, like today, I typically find it easier to bring myself back up by helping others. So, each Sunday, I’m going to “will good things” to happen —where I keep a special person in mind…along with the usual blessed clan we love!

So on this Sunday, I want to help a women that is just so close to me and tends to know me better than anyone else at times…. and with my limited mobility and strength, I know I can pray to thanks her…but also thought I could share the power from those that are praying for me and sending me strong vibes of support. So, if OK by you, I’m going to channel some of that power and strength to help this angel on earth that has been so good to me.

Good to me she’s always been…through good and bad times, always there with just what you need…knows when a hug is needed, or when alone time best —when to join in a shed tear and when to say “snap out of it”.

She wants for nothing and braves life as the strongest soldier, with a smile that puts mine to shame!

She’s someone so special that could use a few little blessings….so, I pray she gets even just a fraction of what she gives to others. I pray for you and know your graces are only a matter of time :)

So I lay here in bed 10 days after my double mastectomy and am just soo done with it all and just sick of just not being in ” control” of it all anymore. I’ve been so blessed to have no complications or issues arise..but it’s a down day.

I’m tired of being tired. Pain killers just numb me past the point of the control I’d prefer to have and no longer just “relax me”. Feeling days flip by in hours becomes irritating to someone that likes to cram in three days of achievements in each day.

I have to keep telling myself what day of the week it is over and over, like it really matters–I have nothing to do and promised myself not to do things while recovering.

I know life as normal will be back, but I’ve just hit a low, temporary I’m sure. All just seems a bit of a blurr and I thought my recovery would be done now regardless of them telling me 4 weeks…yes, I am an over achiever everywhere possible!

I have the best experience that one could have – no adverse reactions to surgery, superb healing, and guess – can just have a down day! But as I promised, this is cancer by the day, and important for me to expose all sides of it….and it’s OK for Sue Ennis to be down for a bit… And again, I feel better for having just released it here –and perhaps a day of planting sweet peas with our sweet peas will turn things around!